While chatting the other day I was reminded that the common thread we share in this Planet is "relationships". Our capability to refine, understand and maintain a variety of relationships makes us superior to animals who also share this human-like trait.
However we have created an institutional art-form (or business as I was told) called marriage which for better or worse is here to stay and everyone wants to taste it once.
Hmpf... so in all this whether its getting married or staying married, hardly any attention is paid to the whole process of where the relationship is going, or not.
Quoting from Jacinta Richardson's message :
I think such a group (in fact, I think schools should also do this) should teach about relationships. About what things make a good and successful relationship; vs what things should be considered warning signs of a bad relationship. I know this would be controversial, but I think it's important to tell young people all of this stuff. Not all of them will have had good examples of adult relationships to learn from. Once you've been in a few relationships, you generally have a good idea of what works for you. I think the following are important:
* Your partner makes you laugh
* Your partner can make you smile even when you're really grumpy or upset (even if the smile is only for a few moments)
* You look forward to seeing your partner at the end of the day
* You feel confident sharing bad news with your partner
* You feel safe when (gently) criticising your partner's behaviour (nobody is perfect, sometimes they will mess up)
* You feel safe when being criticised by your partner
* Your partner stands up for you against negative comments from their friends or family and asks the offending party to refrain from such.
* Your partner never insults you, and never criticises you in front anyone else, and neither you, them.
* Violence of any form is not part of the relationship.
* You are never afraid *of* your partner.
All of these should be true most of the time. Most of these should be true all of the time. Even in a bad week, you don't want more than 2 of these to be false at any one time.
Wow...... That kind of sums it up right there with respect, love and trust forming the foundation for the best relationship ever!